


Wide Eyes

by kyoloren



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Bisexual Ben Solo, Bisexual Finn (Star Wars), Bisexual Rey (Star Wars), Bisexual Rose Tico, Epistolary, Everyone Is Gay, Exes, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Family Drama, First Dates, Fluff, Gay Poe Dameron, Gay Tai (Star Wars), Lesbian Ahsoka Tano, Lesbian Kaydel Ko Connix, Lesbian Paige Tico, Minor Kaydel Ko Connix/Rose Tico, Minor Paige Tico/Ahsoka Tano, Minor Poe Dameron/Finn, Multiple Timelines, Past Relationship(s), Sisters, Social Media, Teenage Drama, Texting, reconnecting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:01:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 10,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29830164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyoloren/pseuds/kyoloren
Summary: Rey Tico is having one hell of a bad year. A hard break-up. Losing her job. Finding her biological grandfather. And then the nail in the coffin: seeing her high school boyfriend, Ben Solo, a decade after they broke up.How on earth is she going to handle all this?
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 18
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all!
> 
> So this is a twitfic/textfic that I am working on currently on my twitter. You can keep up with [the thread here](https://twitter.com/hunkbuster/status/1367251154799853569), and I'll be posting updates to this ao3 page occasionally as things are posted. 
> 
> I'll be adding tags as I write more.

\--

1\. Rey & Ben

2\. Rose & Paige

3\. Rey may seem relatively calm but she is Not

4\. badumtss

5\. Meanwhile Ben has his own drama to deal with and his heart is too big

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep up with the textfic [here on twitter](https://twitter.com/hunkbuster/status/1365327573572591622)!


	2. Chapter 2

6\. The Next Morning -  
Ben gets a text

7\. Tico x3  
Rey is totally Fine 

8\. Apparently he does remember...

9\. Ben reaches out to his friend and business partner...which is probably smart since Tai is a mess

10

11\. _(with a photo of ben cropped out of a photo from the SRYC website bc rey is baby 🥺)_

12.

13\. 🌺~sisters~❤️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep up with the textfic [here on twitter](https://twitter.com/hunkbuster/status/1365327573572591622)!


	3. Chapter 3

**FLASHBACK - TEN YEARS AGO**

****

Rey Tico hit sixteen in March and did that thing where she “blossomed”. She lost a bit of her baby fat in her face, her hips started to grow in, she even  _ felt _ more mature. Her chest was still painfully small, but she could live with that. 

Sophomore year of high school ended just a week before and Rey and Rose were at the community pool of their apartment building. The Ticos hadn’t bought property after their move from the UK to the West Coast six years prior. Their apartment was enormous though, and expensive as hell. But as a sixteen year old, Rey didn’t really care about finances.

She cared about putting on just enough sunscreen to stop from burning while still making it so she broke out in freckles. Most girls hated freckles, but Rey loved them and figured they were her best feature. Plus, they made it so she really didn’t have to wear that much makeup. Her older sister Paige loved makeup and the glamor of changing your face to look however you want, but Rey was...just Rey.

The heat of Southern California was too much after a while and Rey dove into the pool, leaving Rose sitting on a lounge chair under a floppy hat where she was reading some romance novel. There were a handful of other people at the pool but not many. Most people just went to the beach since it was close enough.

Rey swam a few laps, diving deep and pushing off from the bottom of the deep end, breaching the surface smoothly like a mermaid. Her hair floated out all around her shoulders as she stayed there, her eyes drawn to the black mustang that had pulled into the parking lot. She could barely make out any movement inside through the windshield as she hauled herself out of the water.

She’d never been self conscious about her body before, but she felt a weird nervous twinge in her stomach over her bikini and what felt like acres of exposed skin. She wrung out her hair as she padded over to Rose.

“Looks like Ben’s here,” she said, nodding over to his car. Rose dropped her book to her lap and squinted through sunglasses as the boy in question got out of the car.

Ben Solo was recently turned eighteen, tall and pale as a vampire, with long almost black hair that was shaggy and reminded Rey of rock bands. Even though it was at least eighty-five out, he was wearing black jeans, boots and a leather jacket. The white t-shirt he wore was sticking to his torso, the only sign that he was affected by the heat.

Rose rolled her eyes. “He tries to look cool but he just looks dumb dressed like that in June.”

Rey shrugged, waiting for him to look over at the pool but his attention was on his phone. “I dunno. It beats the holey t-shirts and baggy jeans of summers passed.” She grinned and the sisters broke into peals of laughter.

That caught Ben’s attention.

  


oOo

  


Ben was sweating his balls off but he’d be damned if he put on a pair of shorts. He could probably lose the leather jacket, but he’d wait it out. After a few back-and-forth texts to Paige Tico, Ben heard high pitched laughter coming from the pool.

He swung his gaze over there and spotted the other Tico sisters. Rose was clutching her belly trying to catch her breath and struggling not to fall out of her chair. Rey was standing, the shine of water and sunscreen on her skin.

Ben was not immune to the youngest Tico. All three of the sisters were pretty, but there was something new that Ben noticed in the last few weeks of school about Rey in particular. It was frustrating, like a nagging in the back of his head. And there she was, standing in a dark green bikini, flashing him a smile and waving at him.

Ben clutched his hand around his phone and waved back, walking closer to the gate around the pool area.

“Hey Ben!” Both Rey and Rose walked closer, but Rey was the one who spoke.

“You know you look pretty dumb wearing that stuff when it’s ninety degrees,” Rose pointed out, a small paperback book tucked under her arm.

Rey elbowed Rose and got onto her toes so she could rest her arms across the top of the fence. “ _ I _ think you belong in The Ramones. Or the Rolling Stones.”

Ben ran a hand through his hair absently. “Thanks,” he muttered. “Too bad I have no musical talent.”

“Don’t I remember you singing in the choir back when we first moved here?” Rose asked.

Ben made a face. “Uh...yeah. Wasn’t any good.”

Thankfully--before he said anything stupid or stared at Rey too long--Paige appeared, converse pounding on the pavement as she ran over. She was wearing jean shorts and a white tank-top. Her makeup impeccably in place. Ben wondered how she did that and how it never melted off.

“Hey!” she called, coming to a stop next to him. “Antagonizing my friend I see.”

Rose stuck her tongue out at Paige and Rey yelled “We were not!”

Paige rolled her eyes and hooked her arm with Ben’s, tugging him away. “Come  _ on _ , Ben. My sisters aren’t worth your time.” She smiled sweetly at the girls.

“Ugh!” Rey exclaimed, while the half-insult seemed to just wash off Rose. Rose tugged Rey away and Ben could barely see them once he got into his car.

“God,  _ please _ ignore them,” Paige said, clicking her seatbelt in and waving at the windshield.

Ben huffed and shook his head. “They’re not that bad. At least you have siblings.”

“You say that now but what would you say if you had two younger brothers and they never left you alone?”

Ben shrugged and turned in his seat to back out of the spot. He didn’t say anything, but he thought that would be a pretty nice gig. He felt lonely most of the time. Especially now with his parents going through a rough patch. Dad had gone back to driving an eighteen wheeler up and down the coast and Mom was busying herself helping Uncle Luke setting up his new school. Most nights Ben was home alone in a big house.

“Anyway,” Ben said once they pulled out of the apartment complex. “Where to?”

Paige looked up from one french-tipped nail. “To the girls, Mr. Solo,” she said, putting on a haughty posh accent.

Ben sort of chuckled and shifted to a higher gear, blasting down the two-way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep up with the textfic [here on twitter](https://twitter.com/hunkbuster/status/1365327573572591622)!


	4. Chapter 4

16\. Rey's phone, the night before the meeting

17\. Tico x3 so's - current and exes

\--

**Thursday, 7:30am**

After Sabine’s texts, Rey hadn’t slept well the night before, so she had to resort to wearing more makeup than she usually did to hide the color under her eyes. It was April, so the temperature was already climbing in the high seventies, low eighties, so rather than risk pit-stains in a dark blouse, she opted for a light purple dress. She wore low heels and took a train and a bus to Maz’s Cafe.

She hadn’t been back here since she crawled back to Chandrila six months ago, jobless and overwhelmed. When she was in high school, this was the place to be. It was part cafe, part bookstore, part record shop, and it looked like it hadn’t changed much.

Memories washed over her as she walked through the door. It still had that distinct smell of old books, burnt coffee and whatever little pots of potpourri that Maz hid on top of shelves and cabinets. A small smile came across Rey’s face as she walked over the creaky floors. 

It was bustling already, with a crowd waiting for their to-go orders, and various mismatched seats and chairs filled with chatty morning people. Rey found a spot in line and tried not to compulsively check her phone. Her personal phone was silent in her bag, and her new business phone was clutched in her hand. 

She quickly ordered a latte with cinnamon from a young girl behind the counter and stepped aside. She didn’t see Maz anywhere, but then again, it had been a long time and the woman had been ancient when she was a teen. Rey hoped she was okay.

The crowd never thinned, and she couldn’t see really anyone, so she peeked at her business line. There was a text from ten minutes before from Ben, saying that he’d grabbed a seat in the alcove.

Rey’s heart decided just then to thunder around her chest like a horse stampeding. To anyone else, it would mean nothing, but the alcove was a place in the very corner of the cafe by the windows that was big enough for a single chair facing the window, a tiny table in between and sometimes a secondary chair. Most of the time she hadn’t used the second chair when she came here with Ben years ago…

“Rey?” The barista calling her name shook her out of her panic and Rey grabbed her drink.

She stepped away from the crowd waiting for their drinks, took a deep breath and slid her way through the chairs and tables until she got to the alcove. Ben was there, a furrow on his brow, eyes trained toward his phone, which looked small in his hand.

She had seen recent photos of him on his company’s website and adjacent instagram account, but seeing Ben Solo all grown up in person was totally different. He had a nice bit of color on him, unlike during his vampiric youth, and his hair looked as soft as she remembered. He was wearing a very nice black t-shirt and what looked like dark blue jeans.

Rey took a moment to force her heart to settle down and then she stepped forward, grabbing the back of the twisted iron and hardwood seat. It screeched against the floor, causing Ben to jump a little and look up.

“H--hey!” he said a little loudly, moving to stand.

Before he could do that and elicit some kind of welcome gesture--handshake? Hug? Anything made Rey nervous to think about--Rey sat down heavily in the seat.

“Hey there.” She set her cup and phone on the tiny table, tucking her bag onto her lap. “Sorry if I’m a little late.”

“You’re okay. I was early.” He set his phone down on his leg and there was a quiet moment where they both surveyed each other.

Maybe Rey should have asked Paige for more tips about bumping into exes.

“This is weird,” she said at the same time as Ben said, “You look great.”

“Thanks,” she replied quickly before taking a sip of her drink. “I’m sorry if this is weird. I never expected to...be doing this job at all, much less seeing you again.”

If Ben thought her words had a bit of a sting to them, he didn’t show it. “It’s okay. I’ll do my best to make this as painless as possible.” He gave her a small smile.

This wasn’t the time for Rey to get distracted. She flipped her business phone over and asked him if he minded her recording it so she could write her reports. He said it was okay, and she dove in. “Right. So I’m...I have objectives from Kenobi at Jedi Enterprises,” she said, getting down to business, “and I’ve read through your website but getting your own words about your organization is the first thing I’m supposed to do. So, can you tell me a bit about the Solo Ranch Youth Camp?”

Having the professional barrier definitely helped her feel more calm. And since she didn’t have to write down notes, she was free to cup her latte in her hands and sip at it as he spoke, his face bright and animated even with the morning sun streaming in behind him which offered up a few extra shadows.

“I was given ownership of a large plot of protected wilderness just east of the city about six years ago when my grandmother signed it over to me. It was already set up as a park with some trails and shacks. I decided to transform it into something more useful. With the weather being temperate year round, I built up numerous cabins on the 97 acres. A cluster of them near the lake serves as the Solo Ranch Camp.”

Rey felt a little silly that she’d never heard of any of this, but then again, she didn’t have kids or young family members, and she’d been living in Jakku and Lothal since she left Chandrila to go to college. She absorbed all of what Ben was saying, watching as he spoke with his hands and getting used to his voice, which was deeper and more mature than when she knew him.

“I host a sleepover camp during the summer months that helps engage the kids that have disadvantages. They may be below poverty level, in the foster system, have disciplinary problems...that sort of thing. They’re all good kids, they just need the right environment to foster their development. So we host a camp and they gain structure and they have to learn to work together. All of the counselors are highly qualified, and we keep track of all of our...for lack of a better word, lesson planning for all of that.”

Ben’s passion for his project was enough to cut through Rey’s weird feelings about last night and the past year. She had felt a little sorry for herself, being just two years younger than Ben and having nothing so great to show the world, but for some reason right now she didn’t feel like a waste.

“And during the school year we travel to multiple schools in the area, promoting extracurriculars, hosting school fairs, taking kids on field trips if we have that worked out with the board. A lot of it comes down to finances, but even if the schools can’t afford much I still try to make sure we can at least do something for the students.” He paused. “What?”

Rey shook her head, a tiny smile on her face. “It’s just...you’re so different than what I remember,” Rey mused. She’d been a little scared about this meeting actually. All these sixteen-year-old emotions and decade old memories had crept up, and not all of it had been good. But the Ben in front of her barely registered as the Ben she’d known in high school. She had both professional and personal stakes in this, and right now, she felt pretty okay about it.

“You mean I’m not a moody asshole?” Ben half-smiled, though there was a silent apology behind his eyes. “Yeah, I tried to move past that.”

Realizing they were being recorded, Rey cleared her throat. “Well, if you ask me, I’d check yes on our investment right now, Mr. Solo,” she said.

“Ben,” he said softly.

She almost rolled her eyes at him. “But there’s still a lot to go over. I’m really really impressed with what you’ve told me so far. Do you have a partner, or are you shouldering all this alone?”

“Finn Storm. He’s my partner. We met in college, and both went into psychology and kind of came up with the idea together once I got the land from my grandmother. He’s got a lot of vision and I wouldn’t have been able to make this happen without him.”

Rey knew the name and face from the SRYC website, but she had to ask for the record and all that. “That’s great. I’d like to meet with him too sometime.”

“Of course. We have a small office space where we spend most of our time when we’re not out in the field. It’s almost the end of the school year, so we try to do a few field trips or outings before finals.”

“I think I’ll have to visit this office space. I don’t have it with me, but I have some signed papers saying I can go through finances and I’ll want to look over your  _ lesson _ plans too.”

“Yeah, it’s no problem.” Ben rubbed his hands against his pants. Was he nervous? “Would you like something to eat before the end of the meeting?”

Rey was caught a little off guard, but found herself nodding. “Um...sure.”

Ben sprang to his feet immediately, squeezing past her and leaving her in the little alcove. She took a gulp of her latte, knowing it wasn’t going to calm her nerves, but hoping it would anyway. He looked like a full blown adult, with an amazing organization. He was nothing like the kid with emotional whiplash she remembered. She felt kind of dazed, trying to fit them both together and meld them into the same person in her head.

oOo

Ben had been apprehensive about this meeting. Finn had done a good job of calming him down for the most part, but this was tricky. This wasn’t just some random corporate person looking into his life’s work. This was Rey Tico, who had been a big part of his life, and encompassed a number of his biggest regrets.

And here she was, looking beautiful, more so than he even remembered, and she looked so effortless. Her eyes sparkled when he was going on and on and on about the camp, never once glazing over like most people’s did when he started going. It was a good sign, he thought, that she was interested. Maybe he could use the personal connection for good. At least for now, it didn’t look like she was going to be petty about their past.

Ben got what used to be her favorite, Maz’s special almond cinnamon bun cut in half, and got himself a bearclaw. He had to walk all the way around the growing crowd waiting for their morning fixes, and as he finally broke through, he saw her.

The sun was now streaming through the tall, thin window in the alcove, lighting up her face and hair angelically. He stood there, momentarily stunned, before he balanced the food in one hand and grabbed his phone. He got closer and Rey spotted him, turning toward him and almost smiling. He snapped a photo and then closed the space between them, handing her the small cardboard boat with her snack.

“Hope you don’t mind,” he said, sitting down and offering over his phone, the photo up on the screen. “I like having contact photos. Can I use that one?”

Rey leaned over the screen for a little longer than he thought necessary, but then she sat back and nodded, grabbing the fork. “I’ve seen worse photos,” she said lightly, diving right into the sticky center. “I turned off my recording, by the way. I’ll just text you later about going to your office.”

“Sure.” He nodded and took a bite of his food so he could think of what to say next.

“So are you and Finn um...together or?”

He almost choked on his bearclaw. He coughed a little and shook his head. “What? No. No, never. Strictly friends. He’s more like a brother.”

She hummed and nodded and chewed on her cinnamon and almond goodness.

“How long have you been back in Chandrila?”

“Six months.” She paused, and looked away from him for a moment. “I lost my engineering job up in Lothal and had to move back home, if you can believe it.” She stabbed a little violently at her food.

“I’m sorry to hear about your job,” Ben said. And he meant it. He was lucky enough to be able to support himself with SRYC, but that had only happened in the last two years or so. Before then he’d been struggling with part time gigs and trying to run a full business.

Rey got a weird little look on her face but then it morphed into a smile. “Thanks, Ben. I’ll be okay. I got this gig at Kenobi’s and I’m actually qualified for it, so I’m just hanging in here until I can figure my shit out.”

“Like I said, I hope this’ll be as painless as possible for you. Is it okay that we know each other? I mean, legally or whatever?”

“I think so. I mean, I barely know you.”

Ben was used to her blunt ways of speaking, even if it sounded like she was being mean, she probably wasn’t. If she was angry with you, or being mean, you’d know it. “That’s true. We’ve both changed.” He finished off his bearclaw and finished off his coffee. “I actually have to get going. Being vetted isn’t exactly a stress-free process.”

He stood up and she didn’t. She tilted her head back, the green of the curtained wall behind her making her eyes pop. “Sure thing, Ben. Thanks for the cinnamon bun. I’ll text you.”

“Yeah.” He made to leave, his heart picking up speed.  _ Fuck it _ , he thought, and he reached into his wallet. He opened it up and pulled out a photo that he’d thought he’d lost but had found after an hour of searching the other night. “This is probably gonna make things weird, but I found this the other day.” He offered her the photo. It was a weird shape, having been trimmed down, and showed a sixteen year old Rey in a superman t-shirt sitting on the floor. 

Instead of yelling at him--which he expected--she took the photo gingerly and covered her mouth with her hand to smother a loud laugh. “Oh wow…” She chuckled a little and ran her fingertip over her younger face before glancing up at him. “I really made some questionable fashion choices.” The grin on her face was enough to make him relax.

“I dunno. I liked it,” he said with a warm smile of his own. “I felt weird holding onto it, so you can keep it.”

“Really?” Her eyes flitted to the photo then back to him. He waited to see what she’d choose. “I don’t know if I want to relive my teen fashion.” She offered it back to him. He took it slowly, waiting for her to take it back. She didn’t.

“Right…” He shoved it back into his wallet. “I’ll see you later. It was...it was nice to see you, Rey.”

“You too,” she said softly, staying put as he walked through the cafe and out into the open air.

\--

23\. Rey - Then and Now

  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

24\. sisters over missus

27\. KENOBI


	6. Chapter 6

**FLASHBACK - 10 YEARS AGO**

The Tico’s apartment was blissfully dry and cool thanks to the central air blasting AC into the place. It was two weeks after the pool  _ incident _ and Ben Solo was sitting on the couch in his socks, playing a game of Mario Kart against Rose, who was sitting all pretzel-like, the tip of her tongue lodged in the corner of her mouth as she expertly went around the track.

“And you’re sure she hasn’t been here?” Ben asked for the fifteenth time in the last half hour. He and Paige were supposed to meet and go to the summer carnival on the pier but the eldest Tico sister hadn’t shown up and didn’t return the texts he’d stabbed out on his flip phone since he got here.

Rose scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Yeah. And she’s not coming. Once Paige gets her sights on a girl she digs her claws in for a few days, weeks maybe. You know this, you’re her  _ friend _ .”

“Yeah but she usually makes time for me.”

Rose shrugged, the act accidentally sending her off the side of the track. She yelled and swore, to which Mrs. Tico called from the other room, “Language Rosie!” and Rose yelled back an apology.

“Look,” Rose said, setting down her controller and turning to face him. “Why don’t you just go and see if anyone you know is there? It’s bound to happen. You know  _ everyone _ .”

Ben sighed and set aside his controller too. “I dunno.”

Just then, Rey walked in. She was wearing a tank top with buttons up the front and a denim mini skirt, her hair pushed back with a hairband. Her face and shoulders were littered with freckles.

Ben couldn’t help but stare at her. She was positively glowing, even in the dim light of the room, the shades having been closed to keep out the glaring sun.

“Hi, Ben,” she said, wiggling her fingers at him.

Before he knew it, he was on his feet. “Hey,” he said, walking around the back of the couch as he spoke. “You doing anything?”

“Um…” She glanced at Rose and then back at him. “Besides sweating my tits off, no.” She laughed a little.

“Wanna go to the carnival?”

“With you?”

“Let’s go,” he said, taking a step back. It was then that he remembered Rose was there. “I mean, you can come too, Rose, if you want.”

Sensing the weirdness, Rose shook her head and settled back in the couch cushions. “No way. Rey and Paige are both gonna be gone? I’m staying right here and enjoying my time of solitude.”

A few minutes later, Ben was walking down the stairs in the breezeway, heading to his car. Rey trailed behind, chatting the whole time.

“And you cannot say you don’t have a favorite ride or game, because  _ everyone _ has a favorite carnival ride and game,” she was saying as they reached the ground floor.

“Ring toss,” Ben said, suddenly feeling all clammy and nervous, stilted like a rusty tinman. “I like ring toss.”

Rey grinned and let herself into the passenger seat. The interior was black too, but cloth so you didn’t burn against the leather or vinyl. Rey’s skirt got inches short when she sat down. Ben’s eyes kept flickering to her tanned legs as he got settled behind the seat. “That’s good, means you can win me something.”

God, he should have asked Paige first. She was going to be pissed that he took her sister out. He thought this was a date thing but maybe Rey was just in it for the free prizes he could get her from the booths. Too late now.

“I like the bumper cars the best,” Rey said as they started driving. Her fingers played a delicate game over the buttons along the inside of the door and she fiddled with the radio. “I’m also pretty good at that one with the water guns.”

Her accent, enclosed in his car with the AC blasting, was almost too much. She was English born and raised until she was ten; Ben had heard the story. The Tico’s moved over there from Chandrila for a few years when Paige was eight and Rose was six and they stayed for four years, adopted Rey and moved back. Rey still held onto her soft English accent, even after six years Stateside.

“I’ll get a bunch of tickets when we get there,” he told her. The carnival had rides you’d go on for tickets, and the games where you paid cash. Ben had a lot of money burning a hole in his pocket. “You can go on the bumper cars as much as you want.”

“Will you come with me?” She leaned over, close to him, and he glanced down. Her big green eyes looking up at him, the constellation of freckles across her nose and cheeks...Ben gripped the steering wheel hard and focused on the road. 

“I don’t really fit.”

She pouted momentarily and sat back. It took half a song for her to start talking again and by then the carnival was in sight. The big ferris wheel was the main attraction, though it had a lot more going for it. The place was busy. Ben had to park a little bit away. Luckily it was getting a little cloudy, which meant the heat was going down a bit.

He hoped he didn’t smell too much. He’d been sweating all day until he got to the Tico’s and cooled off. He opted to leave off his jacket and he was wearing his usual white t-shirt, black jeans and Converse. Rey bounced to her sandaled feet and immediately grabbed his hand, sweaty-palm to sweaty-palm and tugged him along, exclaiming about everything.

oOo

Rey was just as excited as she was nervous. And when she got nervous, she got extra super duper extraverted. Her stomach fluttered when she grabbed Ben’s hand and he didn’t shake her off like some annoyance, and she kept babbling to fill the space.

Ben got them tickets to go inside and for the rides and then Rey went into overdrive. She wanted rides first, which Ben went on with her, though begrudgingly. He wasn’t the biggest conversationalist, but the fact that they were  _ here _ and  _ together _ without sisters or parents...it was enough to make her giddy.

Ben was older and more mature and had a car and nice hair and all she had was some AP classes under her belt and sisters who were a lot cooler than she was. So she tried extra hard to make sure Ben liked her.

After a go on the Whirling Mountain and the Ferris Wheel--on which she leaned too far and almost could have fallen out of if Ben hadn’t grabbed her around the waist--she got some fried dough and smothered it in honey with a sprinkle of icing sugar. Most of the picnic tables were full, but Rey found a corner to perch on and Ben stood in front of her and dutifully ate the sickeningly sweet pieces she ripped off for him.

It had already been at least an hour and a half, maybe two. Rey’s energy wasn’t waning, but Ben wasn’t saying much, and she wondered if maybe she went too far. This was kind of her first date ever, and she didn’t know if she was going overboard or not.

“Have you heard from Paige?” she asked, prodding for a conversation.

Ben put his hand into his pocket and pulled out his phone. “Dunno, I haven’t checked.”

She swung her dangling leg, the other braced against the bench seat. “Have I been that distracting?”

“In a good way,” he said offhandedly, the smallest of smiles on his face as he flipped open the phone.

Rey grinned and ate the last piece of the fried dough.

“No Paige,” Ben confirmed. “She must really like this new girl.”

“I guess so. Paige gets bored easily and, if we’re being real here, high school girls aren’t always the brightest bulbs in the bunch.” She made a face, which he caught sight of and he grinned. Fully grinned. It was a first and Rey’s stomach got all twisty again.

“Do you count yourself in that bunch, Rey?”

He said her name and she was sure her brain short circuited or something. And was he standing closer suddenly? “N--no.” She leapt off the table and rushed to the green trash bin, depositing the sticky paper plate. “I’m smarter than I look.”

“Why do people need to look smart? I never got that saying,” Ben said, shaking his head and reaching for her hand. Rey took it gladly, feeling like something had shifted and this was suddenly a real date. The nerves got more and more, but they were the good, butterfly kind.

They played the game booths next. Ring toss first. Ben was good at it, and he won her a medium sized stuffed whale with cartoon eyes. She hugged it to her chest and cheered him on with the balloon pop and all the other booths. He got a few small things--keychains and fake rings and baubles--which he declined if Rey said she didn’t want them, moving onto the next. In the end, Rey had a fake necklace, a pair of sunglasses, her whale and a keychain with a globe on it.

At the water gun game, Rey plopped down in a seat next to Ben. “I bet you can’t beat me,” she said, balancing the whale on her lap and grabbing the fake gun.

Ben just shook his head and waited for the game to start. She did beat him by a few seconds, and she played a few more rounds, winning each time to score the huge tiger plushie that was almost as big as she was. Ben held it for her and they walked around, hands held, debating what to do next.

“Can we do the bumper cars again?” Rey asked. Earlier she’d done them alone, which was fun but it could be better. “And you  _ have _ to do it with me.”

“I dunno…”

She tugged on his hand like a dog in tug-of-war. “Please? Pleeease, Ben?”

Finally, he broke and they stood in line.

He was too big to fit in one with her, so he took the tiger and sat in his own bumper car, while Rey and the whale had another.

oOo

It was probably all the sun and sugar or whatever, but as they were zooming around with eight other people in tiny cars, banging and slamming into each other, Ben maybe fell a little bit in love with Rey. She was just...so full of life. Like if sun and summer could be incarnated into a person, it was Rey.

Even as she got bumped and jolted around, she had a grin on her face and her laughter was contagious. Ben didn’t even mind the tiny car with the suspicious smells. He smiled too.

Once they were done, it was like they’d both reached their limit. It was getting later, the lights were starting to go on on the rides and it was close to when Rey’s family usually ate dinner. 

“Should we head back?” Ben asked, gently tugging her away from a game booth. 

“I--” she paused to yawn, leaning against his arm. “I guess so.”

She dozed off in the car but woke herself up when he turned the car off. “We’re here already?”

“Yeah,” Ben said, unbuckling and then getting out, grabbing the big stuffed toys from the back seat.

Rey got out and stretched, catching him looking over the car hood and smiling. Then they walked quietly up the stairs all the way to Rey’s apartment. Rey walked right in, taking off her sandals. The Tico’s were setting up the table. Even Paige was there. 

Ben raised a hand and waved. “Hey everyone. I’m just dropping Rey off.”

There was a rousing amount of “Stay for dinners” but Ben declined, not wanting to take over a family dinner. Instead, he handed Rey the stuffed tiger and took a step back. “Bye Rey,” he said quickly, the ease and comfort he’d slowly slipped into retreating, once again leaving him all stiff and awkward and angry at himself for being that way.

“Thanks, Ben!” Rey said cheerfully, giving him a big, toothy grin.

He wanted to say or do something else, but he just left. He wasn’t gone but a few steps away when the door opened and Rey hastily whisper-yelled his name. He stopped, a few steps down on the stairs, and turned. It was a good thing he had some sort of natural balance, because Rey launched herself at him, hands on his shoulders so she didn’t fall, and she kissed him. It was both too long and too short and then she stepped away, a hint of shyness peeking out.

“I had a really fun time. We should do that again,” she said, and then she was gone, bolting inside, yelling something as the door closed.

“Yeah,” Ben said, a few seconds too late, head spinning. Her lips left a warm, sweet impression, like a ghost or something. And now that he’d had a taste, he desperately wanted more.


	7. Chapter 7

32\. A few days later

33\. A double apology

34\. a lil sapphic intermission

35\. Paige is right


	8. Chapter 8

36\. Thursday

38\. Rey has had Enough

40\. Rey accidentally texts Ben after her dinner with Kenobi when she means to text Rose

\--

43\. introducing the man friends


	9. Chapter 9

44\. the next day Rey thinks about what Ben says and sends an apology

45\. Saturday - Rey asks Paige to get her stuff from Sabine's

47\. time lapse! _~over the next few weeks~_

48\. Early May


	10. Chapter 10

48\. In Early May

**FLASHBACK - 10 YEARS AGO**

Rey licked dripping ice cream down the growing-soggy cone and Ben tried not to notice. He did though, but didn’t say anything. Instead, he kept his arm loosely around her shoulders as they walked turns around the mall. Ben had eaten his Klondike bar in probably ninety seconds, but Rey was still struggling with her ice cream.

“I can’t believe school starts so soon,” Rey whined, pausing by a drinking fountain. She detached herself from him, ate what she could of the ice cream and then tossed it into the trash. She used the fountain to rinse off her hands and scrubbed damp fingers across her mouth. ****

“Yeah,” Ben said with a shrug. The summer was always a weird time for him. He never liked to spend a lot of time at home, but he also felt himself growing distant from his parents. This summer was even worse than usual. Han was still off driving and Leia spent her days buried in work. Sometimes Ben heard her on the phone arguing. He assumed it was with his dad. ****

So he spent a lot of time in other places. With the Tico’s, hanging out at the skate park and malls and beach, though he never went into the water. ****

“Will you be embarrassed to be seen with me?” Rey asked, breaking through his thoughts. She was standing in front of him, head tilted back. Her hair was pulled back, wisps of it floating around her face. Her skin was beautifully tan and covered in freckles.  ****

It wasn’t the first time she’d asked that. She seemed to have it in her head that he wouldn’t want to be seen with her in school. She asked him about it every time they hung out or went on a date. ****

“No,” Ben said, shaking his head. He took her chin in between his thumb and index finger and leaned down to kiss her. Her lips were chilled from the ice cream. ****

“I’m not sure I believe you,” Rey said in a weird little sing-song voice once he’d stepped back. She grabbed his hands and they returned to walking, this time stepping into shops.

It had been a month or so since their first date. Ben still felt like he was being tugged along like a fish on a hook, but he somehow was okay with that. Most of the time. Paige promised to do unspeakably inhumane things to his balls if he broke Rey’s heart. ****

He wasn’t so sure he could. Rey bounced around so much, he could hardly keep up with her, but he wanted to. He tried, bringing her places, buying her things, kissing her when he got the chance. He didn’t have much dating experience; a lot of his more sexual encounters were a one time thing at a party or beneath the bleachers with people who would look right through him the next time they passed in the hall. ****

So he didn’t know, exactly, how to  _ be _ a boyfriend. ****

“What about this?” Rey tugged something off a rack and turned around, holding the dress up to her chest. It was a dark purple, and more showy than she ever wore.

“Uh...it’s nice?” he offered. ****

Rey rolled her eyes. “It’s for Paige, not for me. Her birthday is next week and I still haven’t gotten her anything.” ****

Ben looked at the dress again. He knew Paige well. They’d bonded in junior high and had been best friends ever since. “I think she’d like it,” he said with a nod. The skirt was short, and layered with stiff meshy stuff underneath so it flared out. Paige was all about fashion and makeup. ****

“Yeah?” Rey took it and spun around. “Okay. I think I can afford this.” She put it back and grabbed another size before walking to the counter. She had just enough to pay, emptying out her small folded wallet. ****

“I could have helped,” Ben prompted as they walked out of the store. ****

Rey gave him a little glare. “No. I can buy things for my sister on my own.” ****

“Okay.” Ben frowned a little and followed behind her a few steps.

It was always kind of like this. Rey tried talking to him, or having him do things with her and he just...said the wrong things or clammed up. He didn’t know what made him do it. It was blissful in those moments where something shifted in his head and he was able to relax and feel something other than anxiety. Because his anxiety came off as asshole behavior, which just made Rey snap at him in return. ****

They walked a little bit more inside before Rey headed toward the outside exit. Ben followed her down the side hall where there was no one else. It was almost like he could breathe now that no one could see him. ****

Rey was walking steadily forward and Ben picked up his pace, closing the space between them and grabbing her from behind. She shrieked, the sound echoing and turning into a laugh as he wrapped his arms around her and they stumbled down the rest of the way. ****

“Ben!” Rey yelled, laughing and out of breath. She tried hitting him with the bag in her hand, but it bounced off him without any damage. ****

She squirmed and he squeezed her one last time. Spinning her around, his hands on her hips, he leaned down and gave her a grin. ****

“Hey,” he said softly. ****

“Hello,” she replied, cheeks flushed, one hand limply holding the bag, the other touching his collarbone. ****

He dipped down and brushed his nose against hers. “I’m done with malls. Let’s go somewhere else.” ****

“Okay,” she said with a smile, kissing him and leading him out the door. ****

It would tide the both of them over for a little while, but Ben was sure they’d get into an argument before the day was done.

\--

51\. oh yeah ben has other friends


	11. Chapter 11

52\. Sometime in mid-May, Rey joins Ben and Finn and a class on a field trip to a Natural History Museum

55.

56\. on the bus heading back to the school

\--

An hour later, Ben and Rey were sitting on a rickety plastic table and chairs outside in the blissfully cool shadow of a table umbrella outside of Hondo’s. It was run by Hondo Ohnaka and his numerous cousins, nieces and nephews. The place was nearly bare inside and didn’t really look inviting, but they made delicious Cajun spiced food and served in charred flatbread instead of plates.

“It takes  _ so _ much energy to look after kids,” Rey said, silencing her growling stomach with a bite of her spicy shrimp, pepper and onions.

Ben chuckled but agreed, devouring his own meal. There wasn’t much talking, but there was a weird communicable silence between them. Rey used to hate silence. She equated silence with anger and so she filled every minute with mindless, and sometimes not mindless, rambling. Since going to college and seeing a therapist, she’s gotten over that, but always felt a little awkward during long bouts of quiet.

This wasn’t one of those times.

“It’s so weird how things can change so much but still stay the same,” Rey said, finally slowing down with a couple of bites left.

“Yeah. I mean, I’ve been back in Chandrila for...seven years or something. It all feels the same for me but having you around...that’s a little different.”

Rey rolled her eyes and contemplated what to say by taking another bite. “I’m not  _ that _ different. You’re the one who’s a whole new person.”

“Maybe.” He shrugged, rolling up the cheap butcher paper his meal had been wrapped in. “You don’t realize how different you are.”

“Oh?” She raised an eyebrow and leaned her elbows against the tabletop, putting more faith in the cracked, sun bleached plastic than she ever put in herself. “Enlighten me.”

“For starters, you’re more confident.” He didn’t lean forward, but he did look at her with a deep, steady gaze, as if he was reading her aura or something. “Not everyone ends up gaining confidence in college, but you’ve got it. And it’s not just for show.”

She shrugged. He was right, of course, but she didn’t want him to know how closely he hit. Perhaps having a licensed counselor look at her quizzically like this was a bad idea. Who knew what he’d find.

“And another, you’ve cut down on your nervous rambling. Granted you were still...very young when I last saw you, but you seem to handle stress better.”

Rey made a face, but again, he was right.

“I mean,” he said quickly, “like today with Charlotte. You helped me look for her so I could keep the rest of the group under control. And you knew your boundaries--”

“Crying teenage girls are not my forte, even though I often was one,” Rey said with a deep blush.

“Right, but you took over keeping my kids for me without me even having to ask. The you I remember would have straight up just ran away.”

“That makes me sound like a piece of shit but I was just a kid...and you’re right. One hundred percent.” She lifted the small bottle of Coke made with sugar, stamped from Mexico, like a fancy toast glass. “I am enlightened.”

Ben chuckled and tinked his bottle neck against hers. “Hope that didn’t make you feel weirded out or anything.”

“No. I mean, I knew all that already, I’m just surprised you were able to pick up on it. We haven’t spent much time together recently.”

A pause. “Maybe we should.”

Rey managed to keep a cool face, though she felt like she was burning up. Rose’s annoying little texts drifted back to her mind. “How bold of you, Ben Solo.”

He grew nerves at that moment, smiling in a way that Rey recognized as a wee bit of a show to hide anxiety, and ran his hand through his hair. “I meant for work, obviously. I’ll be getting stuff prepped for summer soon and I do a lot. It’ll be good to have eyes on me so that you...know what I’m doing.”

The more he spoke, the more he slumped back into the chair. Rey felt bad, probably for the first time, for him. When she was younger, everything was his fault. And yeah, he hadn’t been great, but she hadn’t either. It was a tough pill to swallow, but it dawned on her just then.

“Sounds perfect,” she said with a bright smile. “Kenobi wants as much detail as possible. The deeper the better.”

The second the words left her mouth she wanted to actually die. She coughed instead as Ben tried politely to hide his amusement. Rey got to her feet quickly.

“Anyway, this place is surprisingly better than I remember, though that’s not saying much.”

Ben stood too. “Yeah, not bad right? Did you want me to give you a ride back home?”

“I’m actually going to Paige’s place,” Rey said. “It’s over in Coruscant Plaza.”

“Cool. Finn lives nearby, so I can just drop you off on the way. He and I do an after-field-trip winddown thing that is very...not professional.”

Rey chuckled and got into his car. It wasn’t as flashy as his old Mustang. It was a simple black Chevy sedan. “Speaking of Finn, you want to know something weird?”

“About Finn? Always. Though I’m not sure what you know that I don’t. We’ve been friends since the first day of college.” Ben pulled away from the curb and into light afternoon traffic. It was right before rush hour.

“He’s dating this guy, Poe, who’s a close friend of Paige’s. They met at Finn’s apartment when Paige was there getting my stuff from….my ex’s.”

“Ah. I actually did know that. Finn has been in a much better mood lately. I didn’t know Poe knew Paige though. Tiny world.”

“Tiny,” Rey said, crossing her bare ankles.

The silence returned, but it was a little more charged than earlier.

“So your ex. You’ve mentioned them before. Is everything okay?”

Rey shrugged. “It was a messy ending. She broke up with me months ago and then kept trying to get back with me and then…” she sighed and rubbed her nose to stop herself from getting too caught up and emotional. “I finally broke everything off and I feel better. I don’t know if you know how it feels for someone to hold on.” It felt weird talking about this with Ben, what with everything that happened. She felt guilty.

“I can understand it. I’m glad you’re doing good though. Really,” he added when she huffed a little.

“I’m getting there,” she agreed, as Paige’s tall apartment building came into view. Ben pulled over to the curb so she could jump out. She ducked back into the car before she left. “Thanks for the ride. And let me know when I can come by to observe you working or whatever.”

“Yeah, no problem. See you later, Rey.”

“Have fun with Finn,” she said, closing the door. 


	12. Chapter 12

59\. Rey, Paige, Poe, Finn, Rose, Ahsoka and Kaydel go karaoking. Ben goes to Tai’s thing that night too. (not pictured) (we’re gonna ignore the Finn and Rey costume changes lol)

61\. Finn = Reylo cheerleader?

63.

64\. Ben & Rey facetime (because she has a cold)

66\. Rey has to make extra sure to apologize to Ben


	13. Chapter 13

**FLASHBACK - 10 YEARS AGO**

**(ben makes Some Mistakes)**

As much as Ben thought that football was a stupid sport, it did serve its purpose. The Chandrila Cougars were one of those football teams that brought almost an entire city to every one of its stupid high school games.

It meant that even parents were distracted on nights like tonight, and it made it easier to sneak off. Ben knew that Rey deserved better than a romp under the bleachers though, but she’d been a little devious and came up with a plan of her own.

Like he promised, Ben hadn’t ignored her at school once the summer was over, though their schedules didn’t leave much time to see each other on campus, which meant they didn’t see each other often. It was frustrating for Ben, who was still a teenage guy at his core, and he wanted to hang out with his girlfriend god dammit.

But tonight, Rey feigned being sick so that she could stay home and invited Ben over. 

It was tricky to sneak around not only her parents but also her sisters, especially since Ben was friends with Paige. But his mother often forced him to stay home to do “bonding” stuff, especially since his dad started to come around every few weeks, so he used that as his excuse tonight.

He felt happier than he usually did and a little bit excited as he took the steps two at a time up to the Tico’s apartment. He barely knocked before Rey was yanking the door open and pulling him inside. Out of habit, he took his boots off before stepping further into the home.

“Hi,” Rey said, pushing herself to her toes and giving him a kiss. If he already wasn’t aching to be with her, her tanktop and short pleated skirt definitely drove out any coherent thoughts out of his head.

“Hey,” he replied, pressing one hand around the side of her waist before she stepped back and he took off his jacket.

“So it can’t look like anyone was over,” she told him. The Tico’s had a neat and tidy apartment, even the girls’ bedrooms were always in order. “Otherwise I’d get you some food or something.”

“I’m not hungry,” Ben said as she walked over to the couch and hesitated before sitting down. The TV was playing super quietly but he didn’t even notice what was playing. “I’ve missed you.”

She brightened a little, tilting her head in his direction. “I’ve missed you too. I can’t believe we don’t have a single study or free period together,” she added with a frown.

Ben quickly joined her and took one of her hands in between his. “Yeah, that sucks. But we’ve got time now.”

Rey paused and then nodded. “Right.” She curled her fingers around his. “And only so long until one of my parents calls to see how I’m doing.” She moved and tucked her legs under her so she could face him, bracing her hands on his shoulders before kissing him.

oOo

Ben’s warm palms burned through her shirt, and it was like a switch had been flipped. It happened before, sure, but they were usually in public enough places where she couldn’t act on her impulses, or she was a little scared to. But now? She kissed him until she couldn’t breathe and a few minutes later she was in his lap and his hands were everywhere: in her hair, even sliding under her shirt a little.

Her whole body seemed to know what to do, blocking out any worry about her family coming in or anything bad like that happening. She had no idea how long they were there on the couch, but somehow she ended up on her back, Ben over her, his shirt gone somewhere in the middle and his hair tickling her face a little. That brought her to the present, and suddenly the air was cold on her bare legs and she was conscious of her skirt barely covering anything and Ben’s hand resting on her belly, inching toward her chest…

“Wait, wait,” she said, her senses returning. She pushed him back a little and he moved easily, stopping and doing what she wanted. He went back on his knees.

“What?” he asked, out of breath, face and neck and chest flushed. He pushed hair out of his face and looked at her like he...well like he wanted to keep going.

“I’m...I just need a second,” she said, scooting back and pulling her skirt down from where it had hitched up her thighs. “We’ve never...you know.”

They had kissed sure, and made out in his car, but there was only so much you could do if you couldn’t touch each other's bodies easily. And this was a lot all at once.

She got to her feet and went to pour a glass of water. Ben stayed on the couch and she refilled the glass for him. He took it when she offered, and then she sat down on the edge of the cushions and hid her hands under her thighs.

“Sorry,” she said, biting her bottom lip. “You know you’re the first person I’ve ever dated.”

“Yeah,” Ben said, leaning forward to set the glass on the coffee table. Rey was mildly distracted because he still wasn’t wearing a shirt. “I know.”

“And this is like all new for me. It’s not like my parents encourage us to date,” she continued, feeling the nervous urge to ramble coming on. “And maybe asking you to come here was…”

“What?” Ben’s voice sounded louder and harsher than she’d expected, causing her to jump a little. 

She twisted a little to face him. “Maybe I shouldn’t have??”

Ben sat there, not saying or doing anything and then he sighed and shook his head, running his hands over his face. “This is the first time we’ve had a second to ourselves since school started.”

She knew that. It was October and the last free day they had was in August. But she was also busy with AP and only they sometimes hung out on the weekends, usually with Ben’s group of friends by the skatepark.

“Yeah,” she said, frowning a little. “I know, but--”

“Yeah  _ but _ ,” he said, almost mockingly. “You invited me over here to do what exactly? Your parents and sisters are gone. What did you expect?”

Rey gripped her hands in her lap. “Is hanging out with me so bad? You just want to make out with me? Is that all I’m here for to you?”

Ben’s head fell back against the couch in exasperation. “No, but that’s kind of a perk of dating. It comes with the whole territory.”

“I know,” she said defensively. “And I like kissing you. But could we just slow down please,  _ jesus _ .” She got to her feet then, needing to put more space between them. “This is all new for me, y’know.”

“Yeah but you’re not stupid, Rey.” He got up too, and she stepped back even more, nearly to the wall. He grabbed his shirt off the floor. “It’s not like this should be a fucking surprise to you. I’m sorry if I want to touch you because you’re my  _ girlfriend _ .” He yanked his shirt on and pushed his hair out of his eyes. “You’re the one who was freaking out that I wouldn’t pay attention to you in school but whenever I try, you run off. I don’t even know if you  _ want _ to spend time with me anymore.”

“I do! But I don’t know if I’m ready to…”

“I was barely touching you.”

“It doesn’t matter!” Her hands were fists at her sides, her eyes growing hot with frustrated tears. “I’m not just some body for you to kiss or to touch or--or to  _ fuck _ because I have a label! Just because we’re dating doesn’t mean you can just do whatever you want to me.”

“Yeah well!” Ben faced her and she was thankful there was a coffee table between them. He didn’t scare her, but she was furious and he was angry too. “I’m sorry if I want a little more than holding your damn hand and the occasional peck on the fucking cheek.”

The exaggeration hurt, like he’d said something a lot worse. She crossed her arms tightly. “I hope you’re leaving,” she said, her voice level rising. “Because I don’t want you here anymore.”

“Yeah, no  _ shit _ .” He huffed and grabbed his jacket off the hook and boots off the floor. In the next moment he left in his socks, slamming the door shut.

Rey stayed where she was in the ringing quiet for a good five minutes before she moved. She felt kind of like a ghost, walking through the house to the bathroom. She and Ben quarreled...often. From what she’d seen from other relationships at school, that was pretty much normal. And she knew he was going through stuff with his family, but he didn’t open up to her about it, so she didn’t know everything.

But this felt worse than usual.

She patted her face down with cold water and sat on the closed toilet seat as her knees suddenly felt wobbly. A few tears slid down her cheeks, but she didn’t want to sit there and mope so she forced herself to stand up and do something. Even if that something was physics homework. She dragged the textbook and a notebook to her bed. At least now when her family got back she could tell them that she really did feel awful.

**Author's Note:**

> Keep up with the textfic [here on twitter](https://twitter.com/hunkbuster/status/1365327573572591622)!


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